The End.

Finally I have something to write about. My inspiration has come from Erin and her lovely blog. 

I wonder if after I write this you will read it, 

It used to begin with once upon a time.

Yet I have a feeling that will never happen again. 

I see you every day, whether you notice or not. 

I have already let go of what we used to be, 

but I am still there holding you up 

and supporting you in doing what's right, 

that for sure will never change, 

and though I may seem more than hurt,

you are always forgiven, 

in reality it is me who needs forgiving.

It broke my heart to tear that fairy tale apart.

I tried my best to do it the right way 

But that was still my first time

and now I know how bad I must have hurt you 

because I am finally being hurt myself. 

Half of that is the way you treat me, 

like I am the only person who makes you miserable. 

Like being around me is the most dreadful part of your day. 

I am sorry that you feel that way.

Though you probably think I have it all wrong. 

I know I asked for ridiculous things, 

and over stepped my boundaries, 

but I am still trying to be your friend, just your friend. 

It's simply now I am not trying so hard. 

Why should I try that hard when I am sick of torturing myself? 

Torture from bringing myself back to those times when I had my own fairytale. 

Torture because I felt so bad for hurting you,

for leaving at what seemed the most important time to stay. 

Tortured, tortured, tortured for doing what was right,

for doing what I knew had to be done. 

I am sick of torturing myself for that. 

I know you never asked me to torture myself, 

that it was my own unconscious decision. 

but to stop the torture I might seem a little cold

a little less sorry,

a little more sarcastic

a little more rude.

I am sorry if you end up reading these too honest words. 

Soon I can finally let go completely, 

I just have to get away. 

I can't right now because everyday you are shoved in my face. 

Making me question myself.

I know that we will never be like that again. 

But you were my first love, 

my first boyfriend, 

my first kiss, 

the first hand I held, 

and the first true best friend.

how am I supposed to stop the torturing when you are falling in love again? 

When you are dating much more often than I?

When I haven't been on a date since you were the one asking. 

When I can't take any boy seriously?

So here are my feelings, 

spilling out on this poor blog. 

In almost poetic harmony, 

or terrifying hurtful words. 

now I can finally search for my Happily Ever After.

picture perfect.

She walks down the street almost clumsily Not nervous like other girls might be Her hips sway and her head is tilted, constantly wondering Her shiny smooth hair swings across her back her happy smile a permanent feature on her face she's Everything a simply gullible girl might be. Then you meet her ice breaking blue eyes with a realization she might just manipulate this is a girl that only a man might admire. a girl who seems absent minded enough to never understand delicate enough to always need a friend but curious enough to always let go along the same street a sad man approaches frowns permanent creases on his face his eyes seem droopy from all the tears cried his head falls up for a mere moment and he sees the beautiful deceitful girl with ice breaking blue eyes and a clumsy hip swaying walk with a happy laughter curling out anger flashes through his hands he hides before she sees his sad careful eyes hiding no deceit he pulls it from his jacket and lifts it to the front he takes a careful aim the shot is surely taken though a blast is never heard his evidence is never found the flash gave none away his anger is deflated her happiness not taken but captured is that second sitting forever on his wall a special picture perfect moment. photo by: By phlubdr

Fiery Anger

Peaceful anger rages inside
The poor little girl with so much to hide.
She knows too much
the hurt starts to show.
So she pulls on a cover
hoping others won't know.

a few breaths don't cool
Her sweet fire deep inside
it soars high towards her heart
A Poison spreading swiftly

The heat of her heart
burns her brain to a crisp
the next man to come
may soon fall to her flame
So the poison fire of anger
rages onward for fame

a nervous breakdown waiting to happen
the tears hopeful pooling
to extinguish the hate
but nothing can stop this feeling
Her anger causing the disaster.

Stormy.

The confusion clouded her every thought like a frost covers a window. Her warmed and happy heart shrunk into a falling cold snowflake. The Hail fell from her mouth as she screamed at her closest companions. Her anger was like nothing anyone has ever heard before. Upset about her behavior she searched through her brain for the little kink and problem, but was never able to find that tiny glitch. Everything around her would normally have made her extremely happy and content, yet every thought now attacked her guarded heart and every noise was lightning rocking her head unsteadily. Everyday the stormy clouds released their wells of wet happiness and soon her whole person was drained of feeling good or bad, happy or sad, loved or hated.

By powazny

Searching.

The beautiful words flowed through her lips and fell gently down to the floor like the first snow fall of winter. Every word meant the world to her but no one was there to catch the precious script as it traveled across her lips. No one was there to feel her deep cuts and bruised pain, and no one was there to share the vibrant rays of happiness. Every day she stepped through the doors in hopes of something new, or someone to join her on her journey, a journey of screaming, helpless words. Her words had no home like a lost bird flying after the flock. She was alone and isolated even as she was in the midst of millions of people walking quickly around. No eye contact, no hope of being found in her loss of voice because she accidentally hid too deep to be found. No hands reach out to pull her from the solitary life of the hopeless poor girl. She hopes someone will search hard enough but everyone only looks half way, waiting for her to walk the other half.

photo By - yt - Yusuke Tsutsui

Twilight: The Real Story

I know you have all heard the preciously romantic story of Edward and Bella. The beautiful, sparkling vampire and the willing-to-defy-all-odds,lovesick girl and how they fell in love. A desperate love grown over trials of almost deaths which is soon shattered over Edward running away and Jacob, friendly wolf-boy, who wants nothing other than to be with his best friend Bella forever. He is by her side and hopeful that she will one day
go of Edward, but then Edward comes back and she is completely sucked into his vampire way of life all over again. Well, what if I know what really happened between love struck Bella, vampire Edward and werewolf Jacob? In the real story the gorgeous Bella is the only person who sticks out to Edward. After months of stalking Bella, following her wherever she goes and watching her as she sleeps. She finds out, she is beyond creeped out, yet likes it all the same. Quickly, despite her hopeless efforts, she falls madly in love with him and begins to hold on to his old coat tails for the ride of her life. Soon Edward discovers that although Bella is very beautiful, he is annoyed by her desperate yearnings for his love and unyielding desire for immortality. He is too kind to push away this poor girl who loves him ever so much, knowing that she would be completely crushed and would probably fall into a suicidal depression. He stays with her for months and months playing up his love for her. He finally tires of this game and realizes that with his amazing vampire sparkling powers, he deserves a beautiful supernatural creature as powerful as he. He is finally convinced to rid himself of Bella and leaves off into the dust with out a single trace of him to be found. Desperate for the attention Edward had given her, Bella decides to go to the only place in her neighborhood she had not yet gone. Where the boys were new and didn’t know about her need for affection, immortality and stalking boys. Of all the boys, she sees one that especially stands out, probably because of his unnaturally long hair and his ripped biceps and six-pack abs fighting to get out of his shirt. She catches this boy, Jacob quickly and carefully, not wanting to scare him away by her clingy, needy ego. She drew him in very closely and then let her true, desperate ways take over. After only months he wanted to be done with the crazy girl he thought might be his one true love. Edward the vegan vampire comes back to Seattle to see his sparkly vampire family. He had found out from his sister that Bella had found a new boy that had made her forget all about him. But to Edward’s surprise, as soon as Bella hears of his return, she leaves Jacob and goes straight for Edward. Upset about this he goes to talk to the boy who must have loved Bella, creepy ways and all. Edward visits Jacob’s house only to find when the door opens that Jacob is his mortal enemy, the Werewolf, and much more attractive than he had remembered. Jacob makes no hesitation to clear things up about Bella, and to share how good looking he thought Edward was. To get rid of the Bella girl, they decided they had only one option to allow Bella to be savagly killed by a crazed killer vampire named Victoria and then to finally give in to their unspoken attraction for one another. They are relieved to find someone who is more than capable to take care of themselves and who has a chiseled body is a mirror image of their own. They happily became boyfriends and were glad that the needy Bella was out of the picture.

The magic works by the love of Bella’s own heart. She is willing to go far past the normal extent of clingy for any boy. Also Vampires are created by the drinking of blood from a cow with mad cow disease, a bird with the bird flu, or a pig with swine flu. To become a Werewolf you have to be manly, constantly want your shirt off, have a problem with a lot of hair growing every where, but it is a genetic condition. For the soundtrack we will use the Mario theme for the star power, Edward likes to run really fast and he is pretty much invincible. Jacob’s theme song will be Sexy and I know it, i mean really who doesn’t think he is sexy? Even Edward realizes that! Bella’s theme will be Person of Interest by Rebecca Black. Creepy songs go with creepy people.

Alice (Edward’s sister, Ashley Greene) Charlie (Bella’s Confused and Apologetic Father, any Hobo off the street) Edward (the Vegan Sparkly almost Hippie Vampire, Cedric Diggory) Jacob (the Super Stupid Male Model who can be compared with Hansel and Zoolander, Taylor Lautner) and Bella (the half stoned, hyperventilating girl, Kristen Stewart)

Getting out.

The whole world started to fall apart around her. Every tiny word had the affect of two worlds colliding. How was she supposed to control her emotions? She knew what she stood for but couldn't find where her knowledge applied in life. Every watered down thought pooled into an unmanageable river that eroded her joy into a deep unrepairable canyon.
Nothing made sense and it seemed as if her every friend had turned away. She couldn't let herself stay in this pit of sorrow, she had to find a way out. She started to realize that when the world told her that the only way to climb out was dig to herself a little deeper, that didn't help at all. Her only hero now was the sure footing on the rock. She made choices for her own well being instead of choices made to be the perfection she was told to be. Finally she was in the open air. Released from the pit, she started to live her life. She built her house on Rock to withstand the rains ahead and forever she lived with all the happiness whether rain or shine.